Repealing natural laws

This one's a hoot.

Laws of Nature to be Repealed

By Paul V. Cameron

Apr 16, 2007, 21:10

As a result of recent disasters and extreme weather, in a move some say will only incite anger and retribution by none other than the Almighty, a UN-led group is planning to repeal most, if not all laws of nature.

"There are four laws we don't like," said UN spokesperson Liam Snugglam. "If it weren't for these laws, we could prevent the deaths of innumerable vulnerable citizens world wide."

Drawing on an unconfirmed source, Snugglam noted the laws and the specific problems this UN-led group hopes to eliminate.

The law of universality (all laws of nature must work the same way everywhere) - "This sounds discriminatory. Each nation must have the right to interpret the laws in the context of its own culture," said Snugglam. "This is a fundamental right so long as it doesn't violate universal human rights."

The law of causality (causes must exist for all effects, and must come before the effects they produce) - "This law is a problem for everyone," commented Snugglam. "It smacks of predeterminsim. The UN is against predeterminism. This law must go."

Extrema (all systems, by themselves, tend toward a state of minimum energy) - "Sounds foreign, no need for it," bluntly stated Snugglam. "Look, the UN is pro-energy, so to say things have to focus on minimum energy, well that goes against our economic stance."

Conservation of matter and energy (matter and/or energy are neither created nor destroyed over time) - "This perhaps," laughed Snugglam, "is the most ridiculous of laws. Natural disasters are constantly destroying things - people, their homes, and their lives. We don't even think this is a real law at all. It's a faux law. All dressed up to look like a law, but, on all sorts of levels, it is not."

Entropy (in any real-world situation, entropy irreversibly increases for an isolated system) - "We aren't sure what this entropy thing is," offered Snugglam, "But we're against it philosophically, if not practically. We are against isolationism. We think that the world needs to come closer together as one community. Entropy sounds like it pushes people apart. That is going in the wrong direction as far as the UN is concerned."

Snugglam's group hopes to have a resolution ready for Spring 2006 to present to the UN community. "We already have a potential spokesperson," said Snugglam. "It will be either Courtney Love or Paulley Shore. Both of these people's lives have been ruined by the operation of these silly laws of nature. They are the perfect people to stand up for the rights of vulnerable people not to be subjected to one disaster or calamity after another. We are excited just as I'm sure these two infamous Hollywood stars are."

For Snugglam's group, taking control and placing the human community above nature is all about coming together and creating synergies of action. Only through synergies can enough energy be generated to allow the human community to put bad weather patterns and tectonic shifts in their place. If their effort is successful they hope to then take their plan into space and apply it to rogue comets, exploding suns, and unseen messages sent by aliens to control our minds.